I tell clients all the time to “try and act normal” when they ask me how to deal with an upcoming fearful situation.
When I say, “act normal”, I mean: try to behave like a normal person in that situation. It condenses the cognitive work they have been doing especially with Step 1 Labeling of their anxiety and Step 2 Devaluing of the threat. The suggestion to “act normal” is a concise behavioral guide for how they need to implement Step 3 Refocusing/Replacing behavior.
The real secret here is that by acting normal and confronting the fear, they realize the fear was a paper tiger which helps diminish – and ultimately extinguish – the fear. This allows them to truly become a normal person no longer laboring under the illusion that some goofy, made up threat will overwhelm them. As long as they continue to not function like a normal person they allow the goofy belief to persist – they never “disprove the false hypothesis” to put it fancy.
Their brain continues to be abnormal because they are acting abnormally. It’s that simple in terms of how it works, but not easy to implement – obviously. But with the proper cognitive foundation laid in therapy using Steps 1 and 2, it allows them to proceed to Step 3 and acting normally.
What it means to “act normal.”
Using the term “normal” may cause many to gasp, clutch their pearls, and sputter “How can you be sooo judgmental” with heavy emphasis on the vile word “normal” as if it is one of the dirtiest words ever. The simple fact is that powerful language has power – and in fighting back against the “crazy” that is anxiety (“oh my goodness – crazy?? – how dare you”) you need all the power you can get.
Strong words like normal, crazy, delusion, etc. have much devaluing power to assist with Step 2 devaluing of the crazy, abnormal, delusional fears that can be so crippling. I will post another blog elaborating further on the value of strong language – including cuss words – and humor in your battle against anxiety. So go ahead, free the inner normal by acting normal to push back against the inner crazy.
Tips on how to act normal:
- Realize your behavior is not normal.
- Realize your fear is abnormal because it’s not realistic.
- Think of somebody you know and admire who behaves normally in the situations in which you do not and act like them in confronting the fear.
- Think of this as a fake it ‘til ya’ make it strategy.
- Try to laugh at yourself more often when it’s deserved – because that too is normal.
